Monday, December 25, 2006

MERRY CHTISTMAS & HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

We at Makeshift would like to take this time to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and Happ Holidays. We look forward to seeing you at RUMPELSTILTSKIN, which open Jan 20 at The Coolidge Corner Theatre!
In the mean time grab some nog, be with family and friends and wonder why it has not snowed in new England yet!
We have not heard from Happ and Nero for quite some time, but rest assured our fearsome twosome are doing fine. Nero's mother called and relayed a message and they are fine and Nero is taping their holiday message which they plan to post. Something about the fantastic four/doom/poopy country. Needless to say his mom was beside herself that he was not home and her phone call was difficult to translate. We did receive a new set of encyclopedias at the office for Professor Happ that we are assuming are a Christmas gift, but they came with no return address.
DRINK, DRINK, MERRY, MERRY!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

No rest for the wicked...

Yes I said wicked.

Why did I listen to our so called "Professor." I should have known better! My Mother raised me better. Since I did his bidding like an unwitting Anakin to his pretentious Emperor there has been nothing but trouble. This is SO much worse than our trip to China. That was just the tip of the ice-burg that sunk the Titanic and I just want to let go. I am not happy.

So now we are in (CENSORED) and staying in some one's barn. They must have a wireless connection in the house because I was able to log on to the net. Since we have another short period of down time I have been doing a little background check on one Professor P. Happ and his so called degrees. I did a bit of investigating on line and I have come across some information that leads me to doubt some of the Prof's claims. I will have more information on this later. He keeps snagging my laptop to look up information on the story of RUMPELSTILTSKIN. It's all his fault that I won't be there for the show, and that I missed Thanksgiving, and now it looks like I will miss my first Christmas ever!! GRRRR!

Every once in a while I get a treat though. For instance since we are currently staying in a barn in (CENSORED) we are having to share the space with some farm type critters. Namely there are 2 cows. I have named Ethel and Merman. We have been hiding out here for a few days and every once in a while the house dwellers come out to throw some hay around but we have been able to stay out of sight. Last night the Prof. was eyeing Ethel in an odd way and he asked me if she was a cow? I told him yes and they say MOOOOO can you say MOOOO Prof.? He game me his usually dirty look and went back to eyeing her. He has not been able to sleep much and he gets really weird when he does not sleep. Finally, with out even looking at me he asks me to get him a glass of milk. I said "OK Professor right after I make some cookies aperate, and the Chickens outside tap dance to MMM BOP by Hanson." The humor of that must have been lost on him because he just turned to look at me with his blank stare. "No, NOOOOOO WAY." I said. There was no way I was going to go near the business end of Ethel she is a meanie. Merman maybe, but only if I was very, VERY desperate and had the biggest bowl of Fruity Pebbles ever waiting for me. I tell him he is on his own with this one. He whined for a bit and asked what kind of Squire was I? I told him I was the bitten, bruised, missing Christmas kind that was going no where near Ethel. He used a few more big words and waited a bit and when he realized I had no clue as to what he said he grumbled and grabbed his water bottle and headed towards Ethel.

Not only was it obvious that he didn't know what he was doing he didn't even to bother warming his hands first. As soon as he reached for the, uh...dispensers, yeah... she jumped and he freaked. He went to stand up but lost his footing and stumbled backwards into Merman. She flicked her tail at him to soo him away and he said something about open rebellion and jerked around and fell back wards in to a yuck pile of you know what. It's been 3 hours since that little scene and he still refuses to talk to me. I really tried not to laugh...really I did. Oh well.

By this weekend we should be near Latveria where Dr. Doom is from!! I am very excited because I didn't know it was a real place. I wonder if they will have tours like the one you can take in NY where they show you where the Baxter building should be and Peter Parker's Apartment. The Prof tell me I am pronouncing it wrong but what does he know, he has never read a comic in his life.

Wish us luck friends,

Nero
Nero@makeshifttheatre.com

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Transient

Salutations Fellow Scholars,

tran · sient [L transi(éns) (nom. sing.), prp. of transīre to pass by, lit., go across]:
-adjective
1. not lasting, enduring, or permanent; transitory.
2. lasting only a short time; existing briefly: transient authority.
3. staying only a short time: the transient guests at a hotel.
-noun
4. a person or thing that is transient, esp. a temporary guest, boarder, laborer, or the like.

By some profoundly bizaare coincidence, transient happened to be the word of the day on Dictionary.com. As you shall very shortly discover, it has a tragically unfortunate relevance to the present situation in which Nero and I now find ourselves.

As Nero may have mentioned in his latest post, we have encountered a minor setback: despite the rapant spread of terrorism, weapons trafficking, and illicit drug production around the globe, Interpol has, it seems, deemed our own private little operation of far greater significance. Normally this wouldn't be a problem; Interpol officers primarily facilitate the rapid communication of critical intelligence between its member nations, while the capture and interrogation of potential suspects is left to local authorities. However, we face a situation that is far from normal: according to the information Nero gathered during Operation Booksale, Interpol is apparently operating an unofficial shadow branch of agents whose primary concern is the literary security of the world! Bah! Scandal, I say! I'm not sure who Ronald K. Noble thinks he is, but he is certainly no scholar!

According to Nero, we are being pursued by Detective Inga Litmonger, whom he describes as (and I quote directly), "the most formidable agent of the dark side of the [Interpol] force since Darth Traya!" Someone, I think, has been playing too many video games.

At any rate, Nero and I must keep on our feet to stay one step ahead of Detective Litmonger and her oppresive plot to seize The Book and lock it away forever. Fortunately, the influence of Interpol only extends as far as its member countries! Unfortunately, the nearest country that is not a member of Interpol is the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. I am currently weighing our options.

As updates to this blog and to the head office of Makeshift Theatre Co. are bound to be sparse as we dash madly from one city to another, I can finally use the time spent in transit to comb over each marvelously beautiful page of The Book! I am currently in the process of compiling my report on the Aarne and Thompson's Type 500 folktale in preparation for MTC's upcoming production of Rumplestiltskin in January. I highly recommend you mark your calendars now, as this production is bound to reek of scholarly insight and primary source material!

Brilliantly Sincere,

Professor Happ
Director of Field Dramaturgy
Makeshift Theatre Co.
profhapp@makeshifttheatre.com

Men on the run.......

Hi all,

This has been a harrowing week and it does not look like w will be getting back to the states anytime soon. If you see our pictures on milk cartons don't worry we are ok, if you see are pictures on wanted posters then we might need some help.

It turns out that Europe has an international police force that focus's on Library theft. Who knew?!?! I have learned from the the police scanner that I, uh...., borrowed, that we have one of the biggest names in interpol book theft on our tail. Her name is Detective Inga Litmonger, or as I have taken to calling her Darth-Inga the Destroyer. The Prof considers her his new nemisis.

This lady is scary, cruel, and down right persistent. We have more than one narrow escape, and we have not stayed in the same place for more than one night. Each morning The Profesor Happ points to a different spot on the map and says we go there. Then just looks at me to lead the way and make the travel plans while he disappears in the book that got us into this mess in the first place. At this point I have no idea where we are... Speaking of the Prof...he seems to be getting more and more paranoid.

I wish I was home. They have started rehearsals for Rumpelstiltskin which open next month, and I don't know what they will do without me!!

Nero
Fugitive/Homesick/Tired of staying in scary hostels...
Nero@makeshifttheatre.com